you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's rum buckets o'clock
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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