Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
