so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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