he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
