My nipple is on Facebook.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
