I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
