i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
