That's intense
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
