I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
two words...techno handjob
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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