suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize