he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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