What did we do last night that was yellow?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
