spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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