That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
