Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
only if we run a train.
done.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
