So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
