i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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