idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
