Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
These tits shall not be calmed
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
