the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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