Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
