New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
