I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
