is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
