Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
