I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
