i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
It's Friday. Sex?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
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I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
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Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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