Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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