Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
ok first of all what the fuck
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
