i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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