i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
