We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Randomize