Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
