Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize