I got chris browned last night
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
