Im at strip club and am horny
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
