i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
