whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Randomize
