She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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