dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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