Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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