your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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