On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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