5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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