That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
