Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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