covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
