I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Soap is not a condiment
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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