I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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