I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
