Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
