eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
