shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My liver just broke up with me...
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
