im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
