Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
accomplished twins. life is a go
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
