just come out here and I will go home with you...
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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