Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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