so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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