and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
