just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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