Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
where are my eyebrows?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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