This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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